The Secret Angler

It seems to be an article of faith that the north of England has several advantages over the South. Some are true, others are myths. The biggest myth is the reputation for the friendliness of Northerners. I read recently a newspaper article by a young female comedian from the North who couldn’t understand why people believed this. Her experience is that her fellow Northerners, the men in particular, are mickey-taking bullies. Obviously not everyone is like that; I find that people are less reserved, such that the nice ones are warm and friendly but the unpleasant ones are distinctly hostile. This probably has something to do with the infamous Yorkshireman stereotype: ‘Ah speak mah mind, me,’ which, translated, means he airs his prejudices and cares not whom he offends. Applies to some women too.

Another conviction the South-country fly fishermen might hold is the assumed superiority of the trout fishing and fly hatches in the North. At one time they were better but years of agricultural pollution, and now regular sewage discharges, have changed all that. One curiosity are the data readings on pollution taken by citizen scientists. These suggest that water quality on southern rivers is lower than the northern, yet fish stocks are healthier, at least in the better chalk rivers, and not just because there is more stocking down south. Grayling, for example, are numerous in rivers like the Test and Avon, but more thinly spread in the rivers of the northwest particularly. I think perhaps fly hatches are a little better in the spate rivers but nothing like the old books lead you to expect. The old-timers who’ve fished these rivers all their lives will tell you how much poorer they are now, with a steeper decline in fish populations during the last two decades. As with the salmon, so with trout and grayling, though not so acute and for different reasons.

Southerners will all know about the traffic problems we have to live with. The North has the appeal of lower population density and less traffic on the roads, especially the motorways. Once past the major conurbations of Leeds and Manchester, cars on the road are noticeably fewer. But in summer tourism adds to this, especially the two-wheeled tourers I’ve mentioned before. Motorbikes ruin the peace of so much of the beautiful landscape of the Yorkshire Dales, Westmorland and the Lake District. This is not just a northern problem: the Southwest and Snowdonia are also damaged by these ageing beardies on their infernal machines, more polluting than cars. Visit somewhere like Settle in Yorkshire and all you will hear in the warmer months is the banging of engines echoing off the ancient stonework with the acrid stink of exhaust permanently in the air. Like noisy kids playing follow-my-leader, hitting tin drums, they trail around the narrow hilly roads of the area making a din audible from riverbanks and hilltops. Along with all that goes the usual litter along main roads — the commercial drivers — and even sandwich packets, paper cups and all the rest on minor roads, no matter how lovely the surrounding scenery. For the perpetrators environmental degradation is not a concern.

So sadly a fishing trip north no longer affords good fly fishing in peaceful settings. There are stretches that still have reasonable numbers of fish, notably the stocked waters, but overall you’ll find better fishing down south, although possibly more expensive. Some of the Yorkshire towns are delightful though you’ll still get the 4 by 4s blocking pavements with engines running while the occupants fiddle with their phones or guzzle a cake. That’s another myth: Northerners are no more hardy than anyone else; perish the thought they should sit in a cold car.

Still, the fishing is a change of sorts from the South, and you might even get one of those big wild trout that survive yet. But overall I’m glad I’m a Southerner.

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